A witch's heart

The town was silent as I slipped out of my window and into the dark woods. My feet carried me over the branches and brambles of the forest.

I know the way all too well as I always followed my mum into the woods to help her carry out spells for the townspeople.

Osric was standing in the clearing all dressed in black with the candles casting dancing shadows across his face, making the soft edges of his face seem older than he was.

He turned to look my way as I stepped into the circle, the corner of his lips twitched for a fleeting second.

I looked down at myself. I was only wearing a simple nightgown as I didn’t want to waste another minute inside waiting for the house to grow still. I looked up to see him before me.

‘I’m sorry I’m late, Mother doesn’t fall asleep easy.’

He took the knife from my hand, placed a kiss on my forehead and guided me further into the circle. His hands always felt like a prince’s.

 ‘Are you scared?’ he asked.

I shook my head. ‘Do you have the ribbon?’ 

He looked around the circle franticly before letting go of my hand and running to the edge of the circle.

I looked up at the full moon shining above us. I had expected people to come running through the woods yelling our names, commanding us to stop the ritual but even the forest stayed silent, waiting and so curiously watching.

Osric placed one end of the red ribbon in my hand. I took a deep breath and stepped back so the ribbon was taught between us.

We chanted together as we tied three knots on either side.

‘Underneath the full moon, we join our hearts. Bind our minds and hearts as our bodies become one.’

With each knot in the ribbon, we got closer to each other. The knife glinted in the moonlight as it glided across my palm. Wincing I took the knife from Osric and cut into his hand.

We joined our hands as we each wrapped the ends of the ribbon around.

‘May the cord never be broken.’ He whispered.

‘May we always be bound.’  I whispered back.

When I bound myself to Osric I could feel the cord between us but over time he faded away. His morning walks that took him past our house slowly stopped. I would help my mother around the house stealing glances towards the window but I never saw him walk by and I never heard him call out to me from the gate.

Normally after the evening rituals, I would make my way down to his father's farm.  I would be greeted with open arms and warm smiles. They had become like a second family to me but as time went on, I would visit their farm and was told that either Osric or his mother was sick. I would wish them well and leave a bottle of medicine at their doorstep the next morning. I went to their farm one day only to see no smoke from their house and not a candle was lit.

Everything grew cold and lonely. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Where did he go? Why had I been left behind? Did the spell not work? No, it had worked as I could still feel the tug and every knot of the ribbon that had bound us together. Did he ever feel the tug and pull of it? Does he ever look back and think about me?

One night I couldn’t take it anymore, I needed to know what had happened. I sat in front of my mirror, and a single candle sat in front of me. I calmed my breathing down; I calmed the beating of my heart with my eyes closed.

‘Mirror on the wall show me the one I love most of all.’

I slowly opened my eyes, as a cold chill filled my empty room.

I saw only me at first on the floor with candle flame dancing around the mirror.  But my face began to morph. One face, two faces. Osric looked back at me with someone in front of him. She looked heavenly.

‘Osric’ I whispered, my tears blurring my vision.

The girl was smiling when she looked up at him as he smiled down at her, admiring the way they both held each other so easily and so effortlessly complimented each other.

My stomach felt heavy and hollow as the mirror returned to me. I shook as the chill finally reached me. I had been foolish. I had been foolish in thinking that the love we had shared was real even though it was him that had told me we were meant to be. He was the one who wanted to be bound together.

I had loved Osric, and I believed him. I couldn’t help but fall for the way he had held me during the months we were together. The moments we had by the river during the warm summer days or in the field of flowers away from all the others during springtime.  We were each other's secret; we were in our little world, and I had believed with my heart and soul that I would spend my life with him on the road seeing new places and sleeping under the stars.

I thought that with time the empty feeling would fade and that I would focus more on learning what my mother taught me. With each day I was wrong, my chest hurt as If something was wrapping around my heart and lungs. No matter how busy I kept myself my restless mind wandered back to him and his lover. How they had seemed perfect for each other.

Years went by, I was collecting some supplies from the market when the feeling of dread latched on to me. The familiar sickening feeling grew in my stomach. I turned around from the stall to see Osric. Tall and handsome as ever. I could feel my heart pounding at my chest as I watched him smile and laugh from afar.

He spotted me, smiled and nodded towards me. I nodded back and ran as soon as he took a step out of the group he was with; the girl was stood behind him.

I dropped the basket at my gate as I ran into my house and rummaged through my chest of memories. The ribbon we had tied together was still in pristine condition after all this time. I grabbed the knife we had used from the same chest and made my way to the forest.

I couldn’t wait till night to begin this ritual; I couldn’t risk him visiting the house I have lived and stayed in for so many years even after my mother passed away. I could no longer stand the sight of him or wish to think of him any longer. I wished to be free of the pain in my chest that I bore for so many years out of a fool's hope.

I made my way through the forest.

And so, I stand here in the circle now, underneath the scorching sun. The candles are unlit.  The rope lays on the ground alight.

‘I am no longer bound to you Osric, our bodies each our own, our minds our each our own, our hearts no longer bound together as one.’ The candles lit one by one around me.

I present the knife in front of me.

‘With this blade, I reject the heart that is bound.’ 

I take a deep breath in and plunge the knife into my chest.

The pain, sharp and warm. The people in town could probably hear my screams.

‘With this blade, I carve out this heart that does not serve me’ I say through clenched teeth as I begin to move the knife downwards.  

Blood spills over my hands and onto the fire. The flames lick at the blood hissing in delight.

‘I gave myself to thee without question and with loyalty.’

I scream through the pain as tears run down my face and melt in the flames. My breathing laboured.

‘As the sun watches over me I stand by myself, with my power, body and soul.’

I plunge my hand into the hole, taking hold of the soft heart that thumps rapidly. I pull and pull as I scream and cry.

It feels like a weight has been lifted as I yank it out and throw it to the flames.

The earth greats me as my body can no longer support me.

I feel light as a feather. I feel right and comfortable where I am and in my own body.

Time passes before I open my eyes. The moon has risen and greats me once again. I smile back at her as I place a hand over my chest. I large scar that’s sealed together by moss. I look over to the side to see a patch of burnt grass.

It’s over, I’m me again.